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Items tagged with: humor


 

French President Pledges To Rebuild Notre Dame In 5 Years


Following the dramatic fire that consumed Notre Dame’s iconic spire, French president Emmanuel Macron pledged to “rebuild Notre Dame even more beautifully” in five years. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/french-president-pledges-to-rebuild-notre-dame-in-5-yea-1834166564

#humor #satire #news #theonion

 
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rottostein@diasp.eu
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#political #politics #humor #crooked-hillary #muh-Russia #Mueller #Mueller-report #Top-Kek

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Chrls Grmmg Phillip Schneider James Grigg Mudflap J R Eiginn jason@pluspora.com Scott McCoy willie959@diasp.org Peter Gilbert Dusk
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19.4.2019, 16:04:54
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Tracking Trump Administration Turnover


The recent departures of DHS secretary Kirstjen Nielsen and Secret Service director Randolph Alles have been the latest in the historically high turnover among top officials in the Trump administration. The Onion takes a look at the administration’s highest-profile departures during President Trump’s two-plus years in… Read more...

Read more at: https://politics.theonion.com/tracking-trump-administration-turnover-1834168007

#humor #satire #news #theonion

 

‘The Onion’ Endorses Legal Marijuana


It has been nearly 82 years since marijuana was first officially banned as an illicit substance in the United States. Over that time, we have seen incredible changes across our nation. We have survived a world war and the Cold War, seen the sexual revolution and legalization of abortion, impeached a president, and… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/the-onion-endorses-legal-marijuana-1834080638

#humor #satire #news #theonion ... Show more...

 

84% Support Marijuana Legalization


A recent poll found 84% of Americans support marijuana legalization in some form, with 42% of respondents saying that weed should be legal for any use and only 13% favoring prosecution for users or distributors. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/84-support-marijuana-legalization-1834187738

#humor #satire #news #theonion

 

China Discontinues State Surveillance Program After Finally Finding Guy Who Drove Into Xi Jinping’s Mailbox


BEIJING—Boasting that their persistence had paid off and declaring that citizens may now return to lives free from constant monitoring, Chinese government officials announced Friday that they will immediately discontinue their comprehensive state-run surveillance program after finally catching that guy who drove into… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/china-discontinues-state-surveillance-program-after-fin-1834170134

#humor #satire #news #... Show more...

 

Venmo Rolls Out Feature Allowing Users To Send Goons To Collect Payment


NEW YORK—Claiming the mobile payment app’s latest update will facilitate noticeably faster transactions, the developers of Venmo unveiled a new feature Friday that will allow users to send goons to collect outstanding payments. “This is definitely a fun, impactful new way to remind friends and family that they’re… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/venmo-rolls-out-feature-allowing-users-to-send-goons-to-1834170905

#humor #satire #news #... Show more...

 

Unemployed Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Announce Plans To Give Baby Up For Adoption


LONDON—Stunning fans of the royal family across the world with their decision to break from age-old traditions of monarchical lineage, unemployed couple Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced Friday that they plan to give up their soon-to-be-born baby for adoption. “It was a hard choice to make, but with both of us… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/unemployed-prince-harry-meghan-markle-announce-plans-t-1834173545

#humor #satire #news #... Show more...

 

Mueller Report Released


After weeks of redactions from William Barr, Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report on Russian interference in the 2016 election was released by the Justice Department on Thursday morning. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/mueller-report-released-1834176654

#humor #satire #news #theonion

 

Biggest Revelations From The Mueller Report


A redacted version of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into potential collusion between the Trump presidential campaign and Russian agents to influence the 2016 election was released to the public on Thursday. Here are the biggest revelations from the Mueller report. Read more...

Read more at: https://politics.theonion.com/biggest-revelations-from-the-mueller-report-1834174297

#humor #satire #news #theonion

 

Defiant Sarah Huckabee Sanders Claims She Doesn’t Know Where Voice Comes From When She Opens Mouth


WASHINGTON—Insisting she was not culpable for the inexplicable contents of her spoken communications, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders defiantly claimed Friday that she doesn’t know where the voice comes from when she opens her mouth. “Listen, I don’t control where these words come from, okay? When I… Read more...

Read more at: https://politics.theonion.com/defiant-sarah-huckabee-sanders-claims-she-doesn-t-know-1834171625

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Nation Spooked After Running Into Creepy Old Night Watchman


WASHINGTON—Startled by the sudden appearance of the shadowy overcoat-clad figure, the U.S. populace was “completely spooked” after running into a creepy old night watchman late Thursday evening. “We thought if we avoided the lighthouse and cut through the woods out back of the old Palmer place we’d be okay, but he… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/nation-spooked-after-running-into-creepy-old-night-watc-1834171578

#humor #satire #news #... Show more...

 

Report: You’re Far Too Dumb To Be Reading The Mueller Report Yourself


WASHINGTON—According to a conclusion reached by expert analysis Thursday, you are far too dumb to be reading Robert Mueller’s report on Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election yourself. “To put it bluntly, you are a moron, and as a moron, you lack the basic reading skills that would make looking at this… Read more...

Read more at: https://politics.theonion.com/report-you-re-far-too-dumb-to-be-reading-the-mueller-r-1834149239

#humor #satire #news #... Show more...

 

North Korea Tests Out New Knife In Smaller Escalation Of Threats To U.S.


PYONGYANG—In what appeared to be a more modest escalation of threats against the United States and its allies in the region, North Korea announced Thursday it had tested out a new knife, conducting a series of trial cuts with the weapon that state media described as “a great success.” “The Democratic People’s Republic… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/north-korea-tests-out-new-knife-in-smaller-escalation-o-1834147361

#humor #satire #news #... Show more...

 

Beyoncé Releases Surprise Live Album


Days after the one-year anniversary of her Coachella set, Beyoncé has released Homecoming: The Live Album , an hour-and-a-half document of the critically acclaimed 2018 performance spanning tracks from her career. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/beyonce-releases-surprise-live-album-1834150737

#humor #satire #news #theonion

 

Neutrogena Calls For Worldwide Cleansing In Effort To Attain Facial Purity


LOS ANGELES—In a fiery and, at times, frenzied speech before a crowd of his most devoted followers, Neutrogena CEO Richard Harper announced plans Thursday for a campaign of worldwide cleansing, saying his company would never relent in its goal of attaining facial purity across the globe. Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/neutrogena-calls-for-worldwide-cleansing-in-effort-to-a-1834151404

#humor #satire #news #theonion

 

The Onion’s Legal Analysts Have Completed Their Official Count Of How Many Pages Are In The Mueller Report


After tirelessly poring over the Special Counsel’s recently released findings, The Onion can confidently report that our award-winning team of legal analysts have concluded their official count of how many pages are in the Mueller Report. The Onion has employed a rigorous, exhaustively thorough multi-stage process to… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/the-onion-s-legal-analysts-have-completed-their-officia-1834151696

#humor #satire #news #... Show more...

 

‘Boating World Magazine’ Giving Live Updates As Its Team Of Reporters Reads All Of Mueller Report


FOUNTAIN VALLEY, CA—Urging readers to “stay tuned” and follow along on its website for more, Boating World Magazine was providing live updates Thursday as its team of reporters read through the more than 400 pages of the Mueller report. “So far, we have not uncovered any breaking news within the report about… Read more...

Read more at: https://politics.theonion.com/boating-world-magazine-giving-live-updates-as-its-tea-1834152242

#humor #satire #news... Show more...

 

Barr Releases Catatonic Mueller After Removing All Sensitive Material From Special Counsel’s Brain


WASHINGTON—In an attempt to satisfy calls for transparency while also keeping delicate information under wraps, Attorney General William Barr announced Thursday that he had released a catatonic Robert Mueller after excising all sensitive material from the special counsel’s brain. “With the cuts we’ve made to his… Read more...

Read more at: https://politics.theonion.com/barr-releases-catatonic-mueller-after-removing-all-sens-1834125171

#humor #satire #ne... Show more...

 

‘Mayor Pete’ Buttigieg Joins 2020 Race


Pete Buttigieg, the mayor of South Bend, IN who has experienced a rapid rise in prominence in recent months, announced his official entry to the 2020 race this weekend, portraying himself as a force of generational change despite criticisms of his youth and inexperience. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/mayor-pete-buttigieg-joins-2020-race-1834145131

#humor #satire #news #theonion

 

Fenta-Nil


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Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/fenta-nil-1834116939

#humor #satire #news #theonion

 

Investigators Trace Cause Of Notre Dame Fire To Cathedral’s Outdated 12th-Century Electrical System


PARIS—Saying the devastation could perhaps have been avoided with some routine upgrades to modern 200-amp service, investigators announced Wednesday they have traced the cause of the Notre Dame fire to the cathedral’s archaic electrical system, which dates back to the 12th century. “In our examination of the wreckage,… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/investigators-trace-cause-of-notre-dame-fire-to-cathedr-1834116819

#humor #satire #news #... Show more...

 
Image/photo
I post pictures / meme every day about anarchy and other cool stuff.
Feel free to download them and share them ! :)

#shitposting #anarchist meme for cool people
#humor #twitter #police #acab #cop #ftp

 
Image/photo
I post pictures / meme every day about anarchy and other cool stuff.
Feel free to download them and share them ! :)

#shitposting #anarchist meme for cool people
#humor #meme #history

 

Beyond Meat Researchers Announce Creation Of Fully Conscious, Plant-Based Veal Calf


EL SEGUNDO, CA—As part of the company’s ongoing effort to provide consumers with meat substitutes indistinguishable from the real thing, officials at Beyond Meat announced Wednesday they had created a fully conscious, completely plant-based veal calf. “We’re proud to offer our customers a veal replacement made from… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/beyond-meat-researchers-announce-creation-of-fully-cons-1834120510

#humor #satire #news #... Show more...

 

Pete Buttigieg Stuns Campaign Crowd By Speaking To Manufacturing Robots In Fluent Binary


DES MOINES, IA—Revealing that he taught himself the language after developing an interest in computer science and artificial intelligence, Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg stunned a campaign crowd Wednesday by speaking to manufacturing robots in fluent binary. “01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000… Read more...

Read more at: https://politics.theonion.com/pete-buttigieg-stuns-campaign-crowd-by-speaking-to-manu-1834117054

#humor #satire #news #... Show more...

 

Steve Kerr Reminds Warriors To Seem Sad DeMarcus Cousins Injured


LOS ANGELES—Chastising players for not sticking to their frowns during press conferences, head coach Steve Kerr reminded the Warriors Wednesday to seem sad about center DeMarcus Cousins’ season-ending quad injury. “Remember, guys, nobody likes to be excluded. It might be nice to have a little more spacing on the… Read more...

Read more at: https://sports.theonion.com/steve-kerr-reminds-warriors-to-seem-sad-demarcus-cousin-1834122261

#humor #satire #news #... Show more...

 

Sony Reveals First PlayStation 5 Details


In a recent Wired article, Sony representatives revealed their next console will feature split-second loading times, backwards compatibility, and processing power enhanced by “ray tracing,” a technique that realistically models how light travels. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/sony-reveals-first-playstation-5-details-1834123509

#humor #satire #news #theonion

 

‘Game Of Thrones’ Season 8 Premieres


This Sunday, viewers flocked to the blockbuster season premiere of Game Of Thrones to see the fates of their favorite characters and who will finally take the Iron Throne. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/game-of-thrones-season-8-premieres-1834113797

#humor #satire #news #theonion